“For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word. “
Loving your wife as Christ loved the church is much deeper than we realize. It goes beyond just taking a bullet for her. It’s much more in-depth than just protecting her from harm. It’s way bigger than just giving her a kidney. Loving her as Christ loved the church means loving her through her imperfections. It means loving her through the criticisms. It means loving her even when she doesn’t notice you.
Husbands, imagine you go all out and clean up the whole house while your wife is out spending time with her girlfriends. The hardwood floors are polished. The mirrors are spotless. There's not a single trail of dust on any of the furniture. Your wife comes home and doesn't say a thing about it. No thank you’s. No wows. No babe you're the best. No nothing. How are you gonna react? Will you get mad and start an argument? Will you walk away from her and ignore her for the rest of the day? Will you allow that to be the last time you do something nice for her? If you do these things, how is that loving your wife as Christ loved the church? Christ's love is unconditional. He didn't walk out on the church when they mocked him and spat on him. The disciples traveled with Jesus for three years, watching him teach and perform many miracles.
On the night of Jesus's arrest, they all abandoned him. Peter denied knowing him three times. Jesus had every right to throw up his hands and yell, "Forget it! These people are ungrateful! They don't deserve my love! I'm not dying on that cross for them!" But he didn't do that. He made the choice to still love them. If you don't do another nice thing for your wife because she didn't show appreciation for what you did for her, then the love you have for her is based off of conditions. That's that "Why I Love You," by Major type of love. That song is a wedding hit, but you shouldn't desire a love like the one he's singing about. “This is why I love you, because you love me.” So basically if you don’t love him, he doesn’t love you? That’s not real love. Husband's, what happens if your wife stops loving you? Is that the end? Will you just stop loving her? Are you just gonna let her walk out of your life? Loving her as Christ loved the church means fighting for her! Marriage isn't easy. There will be hundreds of times you're gonna want to throw in the towel and walk out. That's the easy route. If you want to love her as Christ loved the church, it’s not gonna be easy. It’s gonna take work. It’s gonna take commitment. It’s gonna take patience. It’s gonna take Jesus!
A husband must be willing to make sacrifices. He must put his wife’s needs before his own. Love her like you would love your own body (Ephesians 5:28). By doing this, you’re showing that you love yourself. If you want your wife to treat you and respect you better, it has to start with the way that you treat her. A husband has to be an encourager to his wife. Build her up! Help her become everything that God has called her to be. Set the example in the house.
Appreciate everything that she does. Don’t be quick to get angry when she doesn’t react the way that you want her to react. And don’t bring up stuff from the past. Love keeps no record of being wrong (1 Corinthians 13:5). We wrong Jesus on the daily, but he forgives us and still loves us. If you’re bringing up something your wife did in the past, you haven’t really forgiven her. It’s still in your heart. Petty stuff like that can be a hindrance on your relationship. Make it a habit to bite your tongue. Arguing will solve nothing. Reverse the negative talk with encouraging words. Your wife will definitely begin to notice, and if she’s truly under your leadership, she will begin to change as well.
Jesus is Lord of all. He’s the King of Kings. He’s the greatest leader to ever live. As great of a leader that Jesus is, he never boasts in it. He’s always humble. Before The Last Supper began, Jesus washed all the disciples feet (John 13:4-5). This was an act that the lowliest of servants did. His disciples thought he was crazy. Why would a king perform the acts of a servant? He did it because he came to serve (Matthew 20:28). In marriages, husbands, you are called to be the leaders. But just like Christ, you are called to take a humble approach.
Just because you run the house, pay the bills, and protect the family, doesn’t mean you’re dismissed from cooking and cleaning. Husbands are called to serve just as Christ served. Society tells us that cooking, cleaning, and taking care of the kids is usually what the wife does. We don’t live for society though—we live for Jesus! If your wife cooks dinner, wash the dishes for her. If she’s been out working all day, surprise her with her favorite meal when she gets home. If you see that the hamper is overflowing with laundry, wash the clothes for her. If she had a bad day, tell her to relax while you go spend time with the kids. Don’t wait till Valentine's or her birthday to go the extra mile. Go the extra mile every day. And don’t do these things expecting a thank you or a reward for it. If she thanks you, she thanks you. If she doesn’t, still keep on serving her. You are the leader—keep setting the example. Your actions paves the way for your entire family. So lead well and continue to love like Christ!
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